When you have nothing better to do but to re-evaluate your life, dangerous things happen.You stop and you come to terms with things that you have swept under the rug because you did not have the "time" to deal with them.
"Skeletons in the closets"
I realized today that I am very tired of chasing. I never liked tag as a kid, it was one of the most pointless games I learnt to play. For 15 whole minutes, all you do is run around tagging people and then running away from them when you succeeded... Considering I never liked it as a child, it is easy to say I do not like it now.
Worst yet, now it is not a game, it is just an ever chasing of something that may not exist.
What am I chasing that seems so impossible?
A dream, an ideal, a notion, a desire, who I am reciprocated.
Ah
Now that I have said it out loud, it is that much easier to accept that it will never exist.
Tonight, the words are too jumbled to make sense.
Even the sensation is too harsh of a trap to try and escape.
For tonight, I surrender.
For tonight, I am not worthy of what I deserve.
For one more night, I will hopefully wait.
