The First 14 Things

1. Apartment
2. DSLR
3. Title Change
4. 13% body fat
5. D-E-B-T-F-R-E-E
6. An Art Easel
7. A Book Collection
8. Visit Northern Ontario
9. Go snow shoeing - in the dark
10. Camp, in winter
11. Golf A LOT
12. Finish my book
13. Visit Ball's Falls
14. Start guitar lessons

Last Summer Long Weekend 2009

This year, no pictures.
Things I missed out on this summer:

• Campfires
• Hiking trails
• Meteor shower
• Summerlicious kick off
• Just For Laughs
• Montreal
• Taste of the Danforth
• Rollerblading
• Golfing *sniffle*
• Hurting my back
• Watching the sun set by the lake

Things I did too much of:

• Unionville
• Cancelling plans
• Sitting around
• Shopping
• Nursing my back
• Nothing

Fire Signs

In what distant deeps or skies

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand dare seize the fire?

BURN

Throw in the Towel

The scenario is simple.
You broke the heart of the one you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with.
Their wound healed, best it can.
The hurtful things more or less a fragment of the past; a caution for the future.
But life has moved on.
Do you pry open those old wounds to reconcile something that is not reconcilable?

Perhaps the answer is only obvious to me.

Sometimes selfish notions to make oneself feel better should be disregarded. In making yourself feel better, the other person has now been re-damaged.

I tried not to think about it; I tried not to dwell upon it.
What bothers me isn't the action.
What bothers me is WHY the action.
Why now? (Really - why EVER?!!! Lack of shame? Lack of conscience? Lack of everything and anything that would scream no?)
Why kick up old dust that has long settled and blown away?

It will pass, just as many other things that bother me.

In the interim....
Where do I find comfort in this moment of abysmal loneliness.
Can anybody even fathom reliving such a painful memory?